Food Related Jokes

Sometimes it all gets a bit too serious when we are discussing food and health. Here is a light-hearted look at the subject.

don't forget the food

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A nutritionist was giving a talk to a large audience.
“Red meat is bad for you,” he told the audience.
“Fizzy drinks contribute towards arthritis”
“Chinese food is loaded with MSG.
“High fat diets are bad for your heart”
“No one knows the long-term effect of chemicals in our drinking water,” said the Nutritionist.
“But one food is the most dangerous of all and I bet every one of you has eaten it at least once. Can anyone tell me which food causes the most grief for years after you eat it?”
An old man in the front row raised his hand and softly asked, “Is it wedding cake?”

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Hereby follows the best case I have seen for filtering water well, before consumption!!!
As Ben Franklin said ‘In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.’

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilogram of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) – bacteria  found in faeces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poo.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poo
Alcohol = HealthTherefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of sh*t.

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An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building.   They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, “Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this building.”The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, “Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I’m going to jump off, too.”The blonde opened his lunch and said, “Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I’m jumping too.” The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too.  The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman’s wife was weeping. She said, “If I’d known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!” The Mexican’s wife also wept and said, “I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn’t realize he hated burritos so much.”   Everyone turned and stared at the blonde’s wife. The blonde’s wife said, Don’t look at me. The idiot makes his own lunch.”

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Comments

  1. Loved all of them. I have been trying to explain to my wife for years why I like to have a glass of wine with me when I’m cooking. Now I can explain that I must be really – really – really smart and that my brain became full years ago. Thanks for a most enjoyable post

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